As the mother of 3 humans I find that there are some realities that new parents should understand prior to conception.
1. Not only do children come without directions, but the generational directions issuing forth from the grandparents is probably correct and one should simply follow them without further consideration. Then when the children turn out to be rebellious teenagers you can blame the grandparents.
2. What you see in your adorable child at age 4 is what you get. Period. You don't get one more year to develop their little personalities. The traits you see now and find exciting and interesting will come back to bite you in the butt when are teenagers. If Darla is precocious and adorabally stubborn, watch out. That equals narcistic and rebellious as teenagers. If Bob is easy going and shy on his 4th birthday, don't plan on watching him play football or join the debate team. It ain't happening.
3. The years really do start to wind up faster and faster. One day they want their milk and the next day you're considering installing an alarm on the liquor cabinet. Yes, they'll be having sex on the livingroom floor while you're slumbering in your well deserved Posturepedic king size bed wondering if your spouse remembers the day when sex was a verb.
4. Kids need a dog...a tough dog. One that can fetch a ball all day, but loves to snuggle at night. This is God's way of making sure all the "natural" germs get transmitted directly to baby's mouth while still virulent.
5. Dirt is a good thing. A working washing machine and an economy size bottle of soap complete the requirements necessary to raise a healthy child to the age that they are old enough to borrow the family car and crash it. The universal law applies: Kids with jobs and, therefore, money will not crash a car. Kids who don't think it's cool to work will have multiple accidents, get several tickets, and not understand why their parents insist that they pay their own insurance.
